Sometimes I wonder...why do we do the things we do?
Is it because we try to cry out for help and no one grasps our theory?
Or is it because the only thing you have left going for you is what you do.
Do you do these things for attention, or do these so called deeds for fear?
Fear that one day that your life will soon be at an end.
Some say they do it to be rebels. Others say they do it for pleasure.
I feel it's a combination of what you are. What you are is everything that you
wish you could be. You always dreamed of being that "popular girl" in high
school. Some even want to be the "nerd". But what I don't understand is why you
would you want to be someone/thing that you're not??
People always say "be yourself", but yet, you don't know who yourself IS.
You feel that who you are is what everybody expects you to be. If people expect
you to always do the right thing, then that's who you will become. If people
expect you to always be wrong, you will end up always letting people down as
well as yourself. But why is it whenever you do the opposite of what everybody
presumed, they act as though you are not yourself. Not yourself!? When actually,
who you are is what you DID.
Doing something bad or good for once in your life, is what you initially wanted
to do. People, in reminder to themselves, must realize that they are indeed
human. Leading a life of one pattern is not sane. You have to boggle your mind
and others by changing the pattern of your life to reinstate that fact.
However...we insist that we must be "accepted". Accepted into what?! In a
society where we base our opinion solely on what others believe? If you think
about all the decisions you have made, there was always one person to influence
your decision. You may think that you made the decision based on your own
believes. Subconsciously however, you know that your decision was based on the
wants and expectations of others. Therefore, when you have finally chosen a
decision for yourself, you feel bad and guilty for being who you are. Why?! Is
it so horrible to choose how to feel and act about your own theories? Don't feel
bad, stupid, or whatever, but feel once in your life, you're just being
yourself!
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