Written by William

[In our last issue we had inserted a question in our signature file. The question asked:

Who would win this fight? A Rottwieler, or a Rottwieler's weight in Chihuahuas? Now keep in mind that the Rottwieler is covered in steak sauce... please send in your vote.

Two votes came in claiming that the Chihuahuas would win, however the following reply was probably the best entry ever:]

Date sent: Tue, 16 Sep 1997 01:00:42 +0000
To: CoN Editorial
From: William
Subject: Dead Rottweiler

Rottweiler ain't got a chance. The first couple rats are going to die bloody deaths as the powerful jaws crush their ugly little skulls, but it won't take long for one to go for the balls if the rott's a male. If it's female, they take out the legs until she can't stand and rip her throat out then dine on the results.

Those little rats are nasty in numbers. One on one, the rottweiler gets a crunchy little snack.

Of course, if you catch them in the right mood, you might get a really weird orgy. Lot's of pain, or nobody feels a thing. Kind of a snow white and the dwarves type of thing. Except the dogs don't wear skirts to cover up the butt sniffing in front of the kids.

And just how did some kinky story about a sexy chick and her seven sex slaves become a kids story? Maybe that's why I keep seeing searches for screwing midgets on Metaspy. It's probably a bunch of kids fresh from the family vacation down in mouseland wondering why their daddy kept looking at dopey that way. No, I didn't find anything interesting when I tried it.

This started out as a vote, didn't it. The dwarves win.