Written by IMPROV

Okay...I admit it...I’m in love. Yes, this is the same guy who just a few issues ago was complaining about all the women of the world being in the wrong place (namely with assholes). But at that time I was still distraught over my now EX (who by the way broke up with me and in the process made a very tasty milkshake with my heart by placing it in a blender and pressing "Frappe").

And yes this is the same guy who last week was making lewd comments on the appropriateness of women’s undergarments and the relation of the price and size of said undergarment.

We all are allowed a sensitive side, and even those of us who walk the critical rim of life do possess such a side.

It’s weird, when you know you are in love but are afraid to admit’s a kinda denial stage I guess. I’m not saying there should be a seven step program on how to deal with being and love, but it’s different every time.

Take me for example, I’ve been in love twice before and each time it’s been totally different.

My first love took place when I was fourteen (most of you are saying, "that’s not’s puppy love"), well it lasted five years.

Five LONG years, but it lasted. We started too young and changed too much as we grew. The trials and tribulations of puberty, aren’t they grand? I broke it off and now three years later she’s getting married (I wonder if I?ll get an invite?).

My second love was much different from the first, but no less important, it was six months after the FIVE YEAR "learning experience".

I met and started dating a much younger much younger you ask???

Let’s just say it wasn’t legal...but I’m no pedophile and well, frankly I don’t feel the need to justify my actions to anyone but myself...and her parents...and the D.A....and the parole officer, can't forget the parole officer...and the followers...and all of my posse. (Sorry couldn’t stay serious for too long!) Well, without giving an entire history I was in love, as was she but the whole age thing came into play and I was holding her back, a line many straight laced guys such as myself have heard far too many times, I’m sure.

Back to the subject at hand: I?M IN LOVE. I’ve just completed step on to step three: tell her! Maybe I’ll just let her read this and she can put it together herself. Too easy. We’ve known each other for three or four years now, but have only been good friends for about two. I've always said that if there were no other significant others in our lives that we’d make a good couple. Of course I never said this to her!! But I think for the first time in the history of relationships two people who were meant for each other are together.

Allow me to explain: If this was a common experience then I’d be single and she’d be tied up in some dead end relationship with some loser. Then I’d give up on waiting, start seeing some other person, out of sheer loneliness, and she’d free herself of the earlier mentioned loser. This process would continue until we both get married to the wrong people and either die unhappy or become a divorce statistic. But that’s not going to happen...

...mind you I could be the above mentioned loser.