Written by IMPROV

Usually during my article I ramble on about some of the terms or sayings we use in everyday life...Not this time, this time I want to talk about something very serious, that’s right, I’m talking Bra prices. A very important garment in today’s world is the ladies’ brassiere. (Perhaps this whole article is useless what with our female counterpart being permitted to bare all in public, but never the less, bras SHOULD be worn sometimes, otherwise gravity will take its toll. Anyhow, that’s another article.)

The reason that I bring this up is because bra prices are outrageous!!! Allow me to explain how I came to this revelation:

The other night, at another fun filled evening at the bingo hall,(IMPROV works in a Bingo Hall - Ed) I was leafing through a Zeller flyer (it was either this or the ever popular BINGO BUGLE).(Zellers for those that don't know is a chain of stores similar to By-Way but a little more... sophisticated -Ed) I noticed a picture of a woman standing there in her skivvies (which naturally caught my eye)modelling Warner Bras. Fine, nothing new, but for some strange reason my eyes wonder away from the half-naked woman to the price just beside it, it read: Warner Bras assorted styles and colours from $24.99. This is Zellers, y'know, "where the lowest price is the law, everyday". Lowest price my ass!!Why can a man buy a freakin? 1/2 dozen briefs for 1/2 the price as ONE bra. As a man I’ve never noticed this. Not with either of myEx's did I ever have to buy a bra, skimpy lingerie yes, but just a bra, no. If I was woman I’d be upset at this. Twenty five dollars is a lot of money for something that (theoretically) no one besides yourself sees. So I’ve come up with a scale to make the pricing of this unique item fair...retail outlets take note:

The bigger the size, the more the bra should cost. This is because, let’s face it: flat chested women have been cheated enough to begin with.

One rule...easy to follow, for example: Bra Size: 28 AA Price: 2 dollars Makes sense, right? Bra Size: 38 DD Price: 20 bucks

Now I know there is going to be some women (no doubt flat chested)offended by this. Don’t be, I’m on your side, I’m trying to save you money. I feel your pain.

Oh, just as a side bar, if there are any bra manufacturers reading this, here’s a request: If the garment MUST do up at the back, please, only one’s hard enough to get undone in the heat of the moment, never mind three!!!

But I guess this article is useless now that our female counterparts are being permitted to bare all in public thanks to a new Ontario law.