Review: Batman & Robin

Written by Marco Tabini

Produced and Distributed by Warner Brothers
Directed by Mr. Schumacher


Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze, an egomaniac who wanders around wearing neon lights (even in front of his mouth, and he hasn't got nice teeth). He likes cool places.

George Clooney as Batman. He's got the most kitch designed vehicles in the history of mankind.

Chris O'Donnel as Robin. Batman's gay partner. NOT!

Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy. The overacted role of an ex-Greenpeace girl gone nuts.

Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl. The first fat superhero ever appeared. (The blubber stops the bullets though.. -Ed)

Michael Gough as Alfred. So dumb he doesn't even realize Clooney is the third different man who pretends to be Bruce Wayne in four movies and his niece (Batgirl) is Commissioner Gordon's daughter. Smart enough to survive four movies.

Plot: Couldn't find none

Cool people: Mr Freeze (and I mean it). Schwarzy alone is worth watching the movie (on a half-price day, at least).

Cool lines: "She Is playing with you, Dick!" (Batman to Robin, regarding Poison Ivy)