Readers' Letters

Written by capnasty

A. Nit-pickingly yours,

Date: Mon, 24 Feb 1997 15:45:27 -0800
To: Colin B.
Subject: Re: Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine II.08

Leo, Colin,

I found the Rugby players' exam this issue to be very amusing, however the poor jocks may still have gotten some of the questions wrong, even with the clues supplied, particularly in the questions about the USA. Imagine my shock at discovering several errors in the questions, including the following:

Which part of America produces the most oranges?
(a) New York
(b) California
(c) Canada
(d) Wisconsin

Er....(e), None of the above? Florida is legendary as the largest orange producing area in the US, a fact most famously celebrated by Florida Citrus Growers Association Spokesperson Anita Bryant, the homophobic ex-Miss America who self-destructed after running for political office on a far right platform that mainly consisted of gay-bashing and Vitamin C. In San Francisco, in fact, Anita Bryant-bashing became commonplace, including boycotts on oranges and orange juice, and you could often see I Hate Anita T-Shirts on sale right next to the leather pants in shop windows along Castro Street.

What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for?

The athletes may have guessed this one on their own, however the clue might lead them astray in one small detail, it's the National Broadcasting Company.

What are people in America's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
(d) Canadians

Hmm, this again may be a small point, but the strange fact is thatresidents of such far northern areas as Maine, Wisconsin, and Washington state aren't reffered to as "Northerners" particularly, at least not in this country. Each instead has its own name, ie: people in Maine are called either "Yankees" or "New Englanders", Wisconsonites fall under the general "Midwesterner" designation, and people in Seattle are of course refered to as "Bill Gates' Serfs". And of course, Alaskans are simply Alaksans. The term Northerner is generally used only by Southerners, and then to refer to the entire North, meaning anything north of Kentucky, and for the most part only when the Civil War was still in progress.

Although I must admit I don't get down there much, so I could be wrong about this last part. I recently heard from a cousin who now lives in Atlanta, Georgia, and apparently spends weekends re-enacting the famous battles of the Civil War, complete with uniforms and muskets firing blanks and so on. You always wonder if the idea, down there, is to keep doing it until it comes out differently. Having a cousin so into this sort of thing strikes me as reminiscent of the "brother against brother" flavor of the Civil War itself. Talk about having taken different paths in life, sheesh. I'll have to invite him to San Francisco someday for a glass of orange juice and a T-shirt.

Nit-pickingly yours,


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B. haha, I must say that

Date: Mon, 24 Feb 1997 18:26:04 -0500 (EST)
From: Litlitlitlitlittle fluffy clouds
To: Colin B.
Subject: Re: Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine II.08

haha, I must say that

sorry, I want to cancel this message, but for some unknown reason can't from this computer. I hit ^c, and it put my name. bizarre. anyway, i only hit reply by accident.

Alessia- - -

Dear Alessia,
it's a shame you replied only by accident.
CoN always looks forward to your mail.