Ian Ironwood, a professional sex nerd, responded to CNN's article by Psychologist Dr. Philip Zimbardo. In his diagnosis of what's wrong with modern man, Dr. Zimbardo argues that "guys are [...] totally out of sync in romantic relationships, which tend to build gradually and subtly, and require interaction, sharing, developing trust and suppression of lust at least until 'the time is right'."
Ironwood calls this bullshit: "[...] applying feminine standards and perspectives of romance and relationships to men [is] as inept as applying masculine standards and perspectives of porn and sexuality on women and expecting the same results." Lengthy, fascinating read that's unapologetic about men and is bound to ruffle a few feathers.
Let's face it: our masculinity is whatever we define it as. It used to mean jumping out of planes and defending the empire, to the acclaim and respect of a grateful nation. It used to mean charging up the corporate ladder to achieve success sufficient to have a wife and family, with the tacit approval of the entire community. It used to be taking the hard shots, making the hard calls, and building a civilization from scratch. It used to be. That was when being masculine, being a man, and being a successful member of society was worthy of respect, not revilement.
Now? Now it means Sportscenter, WoW, YouPorn, your favorite online porn store, the perfect craft microbrew, the upcoming season, sarging for chicks on the weekends, bootycalls at 4 am, the playoffs, the preseason, Snap On tools and WD40, .306 and 9mm, whatever you want it to.
Because fellas? You don't owe them shit after what they've given you to work with. You owe yourself, because no one else is ever going to give it to you. So if you want to conquer the world and develop your mature masculinity, I highly encourage it. Or if you want to withdraw and play games and whack off, I encourage that as well. If you want to prowl the night for easy pickups and one-night-stands, cruelly gaming the pants off of any fair maiden who catches your fancy -- have at it, with my blessing. Hell, give her an inch for me. As long as they're willing, stack up those notches and have yourself a wonderful time and I won't think any less of you.
What I don't encourage is proceeding from the idea that you HAVE to live up to anyone's expectations but your own, or viewing your masculinity as a pathology. That's self-loathing, penis-hating bullshit, and your ancestors recoil from such crap as a repudiation of every hard decision, every civilization-raising plan they bled for to push your sorry bit of DNA up the evolutionary chain.
You're a dude. You like to kill zombies. You like to whack off. And you prefer to do it without the judgement and condemnation of every screechtard on the planet. That doesn't make you sick, or addicted, or of less social value than someone who doesn't . . . it just makes you a dude.
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