Here is a quick summary of major events from 2011. Time may appear to fly, but it's pretty impressive just how much happened last year:
Video of Ted Williams, the man with the golden voice goes viral. Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn made politically correct. Meanwhile, massive animal die-offs reported world-wide. Congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford shot in the head. Homeopathy dies. The Arab springs begins: Tunisians read Wikileaks and lose their shit. Canada Bans Dire Straits. Aerial photos of the Brisbane floods. Starbucks introduces the Trenta, bigger than your stomach. Google censors searching for BitTorrent, but not how to build a bomb. Egypt turns off the Internet in hopes of quelling the rebellion. Facebook accused to be a marriage killer and to be anything but social. Back home, Canadians get riled about UBB.
Congress.org reports that more soldiers die at the hand of suicide than enemy action. In Canada, Stephen Harper asks CRTC to reverse decision on UBB. Facebook's end predicted yet again. Don't mail puppies in a box. News Corp launches The Daily, an iPad only newspaper: its imminent failure predicted. Superbowl: the commercials are far more interesting. British airports start using holographic employees. There were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. The Arab springs spreads to: Bahrain, Libya, Algeria, Yemen and Iran. Shuttle Discovery's final flight. American protests begin. Big brou-ha-ha over Kate and Wills wedding. Last US World War II veteran dies. Breast Milk Ice Cream. Earthquake in Christchurch, New Zealand. The world gets tired of Charlie Sheen. India discovers gigantic underground moon cave. Microsoft asks people to please stop using IE6.
Japan's Tsunami. Apple turning into the evil empire. Google shows off their self-driving car. Scientist believe time travel could be kinda possible. The New York Times starts charging for online content. What "Cosmopolitan" for Jihadi Women Looks Like. Elizabeth Taylor dies. LimeWire gets sued for more money than the entire music industry has earned since Edison's invention of the phonograph.
Vatican blames the Internet for growing need of exorcisms. 2/3rds of American corporations pay no federal taxes. Rebecca Black's Friday. U.S. terror alerts now through Twitter. Happy birthday: Linux turns 20. Eye Grown Out of Stem Cells. North Korea is actually beautiful. How the Canadian Armed Forces Make Coffee in Afghanistan.
Julian Assange calls Facebook the most appalling spy machine ever created. Osama Bin Laden is dead and Sohaib Athar accidentally Tweets about it. American economy is so bad, they can no longer afford to listen for aliens. OMG Was First Used in 1917 by British Admiral. Despite what Christians kept saying, world did not end on May 21st. Browse your body with Google Body. Canadian University Showcases Flexible Paper Computer. The OTHER Large Hadron colliders.
Silk Road: the Amazon of Mind-Altering Drugs. In Canada, we switched to plastic banknotes. How to explain the Kindle to Charles Dickens. Final installment of Harry Potter comes out: howt to annoy the fans. In Switzerland, The Anti-PowerPoint Party. Understanding "a lot of money": A Visualisation of America's Debt. Things to do if you have money: Writing Your Name in the Sand So That It's Visible From Space. Weaponized viruses destroy Iran's nuclear abilities.
Turn Your Dead Grandpa Into Bullets. And if you've ever wondered, Why Newspapers Are Dying. You can walk outside the CN tower. You know the economy is bad when Apple Has More Cash Than the U.S. Government. Opinion: Facebook and Twitter Turning Us Into Child-Like Attention-Seeking Morons. Meanwhile, back in Lybia, revolts begin. Happy birthday: the Personal Computer turns 30. London experiences riots and nobody is sure as to why. Anonymous announces that Facebook will be destroyed on November 5th. You're going to die: Every Hour of TV You Watch Shortens Your Life by 22 Minutes. WTF 1: Steve Jobs Resigns from Apple. WTF 2: Commander Taco resigns from Slashdot. Rest in Peace: NDP's leader, Jack Layton, dies. What happens when you share your Starbucks card with the Internet. Chewing gum and taking names: Hurricane Irene.
Would've been 65 this year: Freddy Mercury. The Occupy Wall Street movement begins. Medicine: Reprogramming White Blood Cells to Kill Cancer. At York University: Jewish Professor Accused of Anti-Semitism by Student Who Did Not Understand Lecture. The future, now: Computers Can Now Visually Reconstruct Your Thoughts. Paper version of The Onion arrives in Toronto. Believe it or not: the World Has Actually Become a Better Place.
Steve Jobs kicks the iBucket. The man that created created Doritos is dead, Chips To Be Sprinkled on His Grave. The beginning of the end: Blackberry stops working. Cool toy: Throwable Panoramic Ball Camera. Back to the Future With DeLorean Motor Company Electric Cars. End of a regime: Gaddafi dies. Not sure why you'd want to: You Can Now Smell the Internet. Neat: The Google Earth Clock. It's official: there are now SEVEN BILLION HUMAN BEINGS.
In case you've ever wondered, White House comes clean: "there is no extraterrestrial presence engaging the human race". Alternatives to credit cards: introducing Dwolla. If you ever find yourself in Joe Paterno shoes, here is what you should do. This may explain why most movie suck: all movie posters look the same. Google and Facebook, which normally don't see eye-to-eye, both warn that SOPA is inherently evil. It's OK to play with your penis while you're at the urinal. A man from the future arrested at the Hadron Collider.
Pepper Spray Developer: It Has Become Fashionable to Use Chemicals on People with Opinions. The United States tells the world not to ban the Internet. The United States wants to ban the Internet. Sir Isaac Newton's Books Now Available Online. Rick Perry's Anti-gay message. Dead but not missed: Kim Jong-Il. Kids whining: "WTF, I wanted an iPhone!".
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