In his Google+ account, Bill Gross posted a list of The World's Funniest Analogies.
They're all pretty awful, but here are some of my favourites:
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
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