The Consumerist reports on Federal judge John Gleeson, who ruled this week that Vitaminwater will not, as its labels promise, keep you "healthy as a horse." Nor will it bring about a "healthy state of physical or mental being". Instead, Vitaminwater is really just a sugary snack food; non-carbonated fruit coke disguised as a sports drink. Because it's composed mostly of sugar and not vitamin-laden water, the judge held that Vitaminwater's absurd marketing claims were likely to mislead consumers.