"Over the course of the past several months, it has come to my attention that the vast majority of you people suck," says Defect on the Kuro5hin website.
Luckily, for the unfortunate ones who are a constant vacuum in other people's lives, a handy guide on how to suck less has been provided.
We'll go with the situation/solution format because it's simple and I'm not sure many of you people suck little enough to understand much else. First, though, we'll go over a few general steps to guide you on your road of unsuck:
1. When you wake up every morning, open your eyes, smile wide, and declare to the world "I, world, am going to suck less today." This is important.Those are all important steps.
2. Take a shower at least every other day. Use shampoo and conditioner. Buy fruity body wash. Buy something. No one wants to smell your suck. This is important.
3. Don't eat so much. It's unhealthy and your obesity isn't attractive. I don't want to stare at your physical suck any more. This is very important.