Nothing says "I love you" like Subway
Or Subway: "Eat me fresh"
Capital of Nasty, an Electronic Magazine - ISSN 1482-0471
Tuesday, March 2, 2004 at 04:00 (685/132)
[Disclaimer: some facts distorted for comical effect]
Ah Valentine's Day. Our nations commercialized and sugarcoated day of love, lust and pre-marital sex. Flowers, candy hearts, Hallmark cards and Subway sandwiches... those are the four things that spell out Love for me.
Valentine's Day is slowly becoming something like Christmas for the perverted and kinky. With things from edible panties to sex swings, the market is flooding with "toys" for adults. People everywhere saying "happy Valentines Day!" with their fucking perky cheery smiles.
I for one, enjoying the fun-filled life of the single and bitter, did not have a happy Valentine's Day. No, this year was just another bleak and dismal reminder that this world continually pops up and bites me in the ass. I can't help but feel that God's pointing and laughing at me. Well, it's either Him or Satan.
I had to work... on Valentine's Day. This caused two things. First, it screwed up the day of masturbation and self-loathing that I had ahead of me; and two, it caused me to ponder what kind of people will actually go into Subway on V-Day.
Well, ponder I did, and I finally came to the conclusion that the only people who would go into Subway on Valentines Day are the lonely or cheap. Case and point, the two older gentleman and young-teens couple that came in during my six hour shift. I might add, the ONLY four people that came in.
There was someone else working with me that night but she had a boyfriend and she asked if she could leave early, so I let her. I don't see the point in making other people bitter and angry just because I am. I'm not evil enough--yet--to get any satisfaction out of it, anyways.
The only positive side to that whole day is that my boss had to cough out $39 to pay me for working plus whatever cost for electricity and such when he only made about $20 in sales from sandwiches.
That brings me to my next (or first) question... why the fuck would ANYONE think a lot of people will go into subway on V-Day?
So the night... a total of four customers, other employee left early, leaving me alone on the day not to be alone. I'd say my bitterness is well justified.
Now, if only I could convince the judge the same about the fire...
Smitty-boy says, "Yeah I did it, but you'll never prove it!" Then he says, "oh, you were recording this." He'll see you in five to seven years.
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Bravo Smitty.
I never understood why people celebrated their lustful day of mush at McD's when I worked there.
>Valentine's Day is slowly becoming something like Christmas for the perverted and kinky.
Nothing says "I love you" like a six foot long dildo right? Or would a bouquet of 12" Chicken Onion Teriyaki on a oregano/parmasan bun, do?
I think whats worse is when people wish you a "Happy Valentines Day". A sound beating would be nice.
Hey welcome. This is a cool site and you will love it
i love valentines day , its very romantic, if you have someone to share it with!
i agree with you...who the HELL goes to subway/mcd's/any other fast-food-type place on valentine's day? i'll tell you who...the guys who are either single, pissed at the world, or who are bound and determined to piss off the women in their lives (this is, of course, assuming they have one or both of these).
oh, and don't you just love those displays they put in the stores? it seems like from the week after new years' until about a month after feb. 14th, you can't go in a store without being bombarded by crap advertising "i love you" "i want to hook up" or other crap. here's an idea for the marketing execs at hallmark; why don't you make a card that gets right to the point? have it blank on the outside except for a poisoned flower, all nice and shriveled, maybe with a weed whacker about to destroy the carcass, and on the inside print "i'm only getting you this card cause i'm pathetic and i want to get laid, even though i know i'm not going to." then again, though, i guess the "honest" policy never paid off for any business ventures, so why the hell would they do that?
people may say that i'm just bitter cause i'm single...i say i'm better off. sure, i aint gettin laid, but i also dont have any kids to provide for or PMS to put up with, and i can spend my money on the high-quality porn instead of the cheap-ass stuff that married men are forced to resort to. (well, that and i've also been single my entire life, save a 3-week hookup where she couldn't even make it to the month mark before she started cheating...f*** that!)
so, let's all raise our hands and extend our middle fingers and let loose with a nice, loud "Fuck you, 'Saint' Valentine!"