Understanding the AOL Jargon
Capital of Nasty, an Electronic Magazine - ISSN 1482-0471
Monday, July 14, 2003 at 03:00 (624/168)
Yes that's right, I am indeed part of the AOL generation. Fortunately, as resilient I am to speaking to their jargon I can understand it (OK I do use it). So I have made a helpful guide to any new comer to the AOL crowd with a list of words to know and, if you wish to retain your soul, never use.
First, most of the AOL jargon is simple abbreviations of words such as:
JK or J/K- This is one of the most used. Quite simply it means "just kidding."
An offshoot of this is JJ- Although used more scarcely it means "just joshing."
There is also WTF- meaning "what the fuck."
The next is a classic and perhaps the most used. I'm referring to LOL- This means "laugh out loud." This is used when somebody says something comical and you're too lazy to point out to the person you thought it was funny.
There are many an offshoot form this such as...
LMAO- "laughing my ass off"
LMFAO- "laughing my fucking ass off."
ROFL- "rolling on floor laughing" (although I think it's oxymoronic to be on the floor laughing while you type.)
The more civilized AOL users have the decency to put "haha" or "hahaha."
There are some things said that are quite simply made up.
ne- the shortened version of "any" that is used by the lazier portion (i.e. me).
u- as opposed to "you." This is also used by the lazier portion (i.e. still me).
r- replaces "are." You know what, the rest of the things in this section are for lazy people (and yes, that still includes me).
ur- for "you're" or "you are." A nice combination of the two previous.
y- as opposed to "why."
b- for the really lazy people who can't type that extra vowel (e, for those who couldn't decipher the AOL code).
iunno- compact and short version of "I don't know."
dunno- offshoot of iunno
thanx- shorter version of "thanks"
There is also tanx- which I think is just a typo of thanx.... but I'm not sure.
Next, there is the poor grammar in the AOL language.
Periods (.) are used scarcely, if ever.
Apostrophes (') for words like "can't" or "won't" are neglected, thus creating "cant" and "wont."
Commas (,) are almost never used, thus creating horrendously long run-on sentences like, "omg i just saw meg and she was bein such a bitch so i hadta slap her to make her shut up bcuz she was just so grrr... ya kno?" (that's probably been said by somebody... probably).
Oh yes, "omg" stands for "Oh my God" or god depending on how religious u r *lol*
"had to" has been combined into "hadta."
"I" is no longer capitalized. But then again, nobody capitalizes anything on AOL anymore. Truly sad.
"because" has been shortened to "bcuz."
There is no longer a "w" in the word "know."
That is just about my extent of the AOL language. There may be other words, or those that come close to being words, but I do not know them.
So, to any new AOL users, know these words but in that name of all this is sacred to you do NOT use them. Try to bring come culture to wasteland that is AOL Instant Messages.
In his attempt to see the humor in all things Smitty-boy often forgets why he’s laughing in the first place. And why he can’t stop. And why it’s getting harder to breathe. And why the room is so small. And why there's a dead cow. And why the altar is on fire. And why ::passes out::
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When I sent this in it wasn’t in one giant paragraph. At least I don’t think it was. Maybe it got screwed up in the cutting and pasting process. Oh well, it was easier to read when it wasn’t in big paragraph form. It was in my opinion anyways, but I’m only the author, not the all powerful editor (fear the wrath of Leo) ::cue scary music:: I can’t believe he made me change the blurb...
Ignore the previous comment. Leo fixed it. Yay Leo.
Geeze, I had to read through all of that, with mounting incredulity, before discovering the keywords at the very end. The article may cover the field excellently, but the field is AOL Instant Messages, which I've never used and have no intention of using, ever.
Yes, AOL has been my only access to the internet since the time (c. 8 years ago) when I _needed_ to get OnLine for email in connection with working on the World Science Fiction Convention, and some friends (after indulging in an Upgrading Frenzy) sent me their excess (but still perfectly serviceable, albeit slow) modem. AOL was the only ISP I could find that had phone access in my local-call dialing area, so I got it. In retrospect ... let's just say that I've made worse mistakes, but not many. Now, only sheer laziness -- and I'm extremely lazy -- prevents me from hunting for a better one. (Actually, _finding_ something better than AOL would be dead easy; it's the learning curve for mastering a new software system that daunts me. Old Dogs, you know....)
Fortunately, most of the people with whom I associate -- OnLine & in the Real World -- have been part of the mainstream Internet Culture for _ages_ (some of them played major roles in creating it), so I didn't lack for advice that was good, and firm, though not always politely-phrased, and sometimes in arcane language. (It took me quite a while to figure out that Seth Breidbart was using "it's broken" to include the meaning of "it never did work, and was faultily-designed", as well as the more precise "It used to work, but doesn't any more".) So, I'm in AOL, but not of it; almost none of its peculiar sub-culture has rubbed off on me, for which I'm thankful. I will, however, probably ignore Smitty-boy's guilt-trip suggestion about trying to bring AOL IM usage up to my cultural level. There's a good reason for AOLism -- so many newcomers join it, every day, that they can't possibly be acculturated to Internet Standards. Sad, but hopeless, and I'm not cut out for that kind of crusading or martyrdom.
Besides, my casual and hasty writing (i.e., almost everything I keyboard) includes considerable jargon nearly as bad as AOL's, picked up from decades of involvement with science-fiction fandom fanzines, in which we tried to communicate as much as possible within the limitations of paying for paper, stencils, ink, and postage on a small budget, being (mostly) both young and poor. Some of this space-saving Fanspeak is almost as bad as the examples Smitty-boy cites. (And some of it has migrated to internet or computerist usage, though AOLers are likely to be unaware of this.)
AOLspeek is for l4m3rs who can only see the internet through AOL's provincial blinds. i am appalled that you dare to even write this redundant dribble.
Well tetsu, I think it's a matter of opinion. You say "AOLspeak" is for lamers, that is to say, people who are lame. Well, I think anyone who writes in leet is lame. Does it make anyone here truly lame? No.
Perhaps you should calm down and come off your self-righteous pedestal you put yourself on. The air may be less fresh but I bet not as many people will point and laugh at you :)
By the way, did you even read everything? Particularly the end... you know, the part where I attempt to salvage everything. Meh, I ‘spose not.
That's right...I said it.