Got a spam in my mail today. Oh, not any old spam. Well, okay, I lied. It was like every other spam from the Internet. "Would you like to make more money." Yeah, sure, we all do. DELETE. Oop, what's this. Some little kid is collecting pen caps? What the hell? He wants my chewed up pen caps? Yeah, right. DELETE. Nice letter from myself saying that I've been online too long... hmm... DELETE. And what's this? More spam!
As we all now, unless we have nice filtering software (which AOL really doesn't) then this is what our mail is like everyday. Scan, delete, scan, delete... Sometimes, we get so good with the delete key that we lose our real mail. If only there was some sort of cost to spamming, like snail mail companies have to pay for all that cellophane they use to highlight our mispelled name.
Since I know that won't happen, can't spammers at least make it a little more fun? Like maybe instead of offering a better job or "hey! come visit www.more$$$.com," maybe they could offer 1000 cats, or a new car if you sell your soul. The least they could do is make their life a little more exciting by making out some weird mail with the subject line "God Wants Your Money." I know I would respond to something like that. And maybe these destitute little kids with their new email program would actually get more friends because of the responses.
Who knows? I'm just another "sick and tired holding down the delete key oop there goes my college acceptance letter" person who wishes that things would change. But, hey, I've been wishing for an all marshmallow cereal for a long time and that dream hasn't come true. Maybe I could start a petition through email....
(c) 1997 disobey - http://www.disobey.com
Appeared in The Magnetic Times (07/01/97)This article appears courtesy of morbus