AOL
Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine
Monday, November 16, 1998 (300/76)
ISSN 1482-0471
By Rev.Sean C. Rothstein-Jacobson
There is a wealth of idiots on the net, and they deserve a little abuse... oh hell, a lot of abuse... Most of them are just letting the leash of their psychosis out a little because they are faceless on the net... most of them are harmless, but many are just so damn open to ridicule that... well... one simply MUST deal them as they deserve. The following is a brief idea of how I have dealt with one (of many).
Me (hereafter- Janet): Hi room!
[several "Hi Janet" comments...but this one...]
x: Hi Janet! Whats a cute girl like you doing in a sleazy room like this?
Janet: My parents went to see the English patient at the movies or somthing and Im bored out of my mind!! I haaaaaaaaate being bored, it sucks!
x: Yeah, I know what you mean. Are you alone?
Janet["j"]: Uh-huh
x: How old are you?
J: 15
x: What do you look like?
[Ahhh, a deviant worth pestering- the...uhm..."moral" ones will say "oh you are too young"- which, believe it or not, happens often]
J: ...Why...? ;-)
[the wink... how can we praise thee? You emoticon, sooooo alluring...heh-heh]
x: Because I like you.
J: You do? How cum?
["cum"- use it when you can, it is better than a worm on a hook]
x: You seem cool.
[if you doubt that this is a dev. reread what we've exchanged and judge how cool I seem]
J: How old are you?
x: 38. Do you want to talk?
J: I like to talk, I get in trouble at school all the time for talking!
[Verisimilitude...use it like an axe]
x: Hey, do you want to get a private room so we don't have to look at all this other stuff?
J: Sure!
[okay, here is where the fun begins. Somewhere in the US there is a guy who is likely exposed and slavering...he wrongly thinks I am a) 14 and b) female... ahhh, idiots... gullible idiots...but more importantly PEDOPHILLIC idiots... so now we need an angle]
x:Janet
x:janet
x:Janet
J: Hi! I'm here!
x: so you were going to tell me what you look like
J: Do you like MEAT? [this was totally nonsequiter, but turned out to be a good angle]
x: What do you mean?
J: Meat! like Ham do you like it?
x: Yeah...I guess...
J: I had ham before, oh god I LUV MEAT, can I call you daddy?
[nonsequiter/titillation: keep 'em confused and 1/2 hard]
x: Does it make you hot?
J: like pork in the oven, like the inside of a cow! Can I call you DADDY!?
x: Uh sure
J: I have a ham bone from dinner, its hard and big like the that vietnam wall thingee where all the dead guy names are at.
x: A ham bone, huh? Do you want to cyber?
J: Cyber what, daddy?
[I was a novice at this back then and did not "know"]
x: Cybersex silly! Hot talk!
[Hot talk? Sheesh!]
J: 23
x: what?
j: typo. Mmmmmm...I just luv ["luv" is another good one] big meat
x: Really? Guess what Im doing right now? Hint: big meat
j: Typing
x: With my other hand
j: Holding a huge juicy piece of tri-tip and its all hot and steamy, JUICE is running down your arm and you are SQEEZING it...are you daddy, are you?!
x: Uh this is weird
j: Yeah, the boys at school say I am a superfreak!
x: Do you do anything with them?
j: Bar-b-que. Are you from Virginia?
x: No I am in California
J: I loooooooove virginia- they grow good pigs there- and it sounds like virgin
x: Are you a virgin Janet?
J: Call me baby.
x: Are you a virgin baby?
j: No Im from Delaware
x: ...no, has a boy ever FUCKED YOU?
[here we see the frustration as ALL CAPS appear, I have a theory that the limper the mark becomes the more caps that will appear]
j: Not a boy
x: A girl?
j: 23
x: Whats with 23?
j: Typo...daddy, why arent you calling me baby?
x: Im stroking my cock
j: So you cant call me baby? is it gristly?
x: What?
j: coz I hate it when meat is gristly- it gets stuck between your teeth and you chew and chew. I hate it!
x: Im gonna go
j: Dont leave me daddy....
x: Tell me what youre doing with that bone
[Are you baiting me?]
J: mmmmmmm...Im sucking the marrow out with big wet slurps
x: That makes me hard
j: Marrow turns you on?
x: No you sucking on it
j; I love sucking marrow, I think about the pig squeeling and its like blood candy...mmmmmmmmmmmmmeat
x: Whoa. Im gonna go.
j: But you just started! Hey you know what I like to do with honey, daddy?
x: Put it on ham?
j: YES! YES! OH GOD YES! Mmmmmmmm honey, ohhhhhh god! A BIG PIECE OF MEAT WITH HONEY ALLLLLLLLLLLL OVER IT!
x: What about my meat and honey?
j: 23
x: THATS NOT A TYPO!
[I am growing bored of this guy, and well, there are other angles to runtime to drop it]
j: I secretly wish I was a 23 year old woman
x: why?
j: Coz then I could get the hell out of my Graphic Design job and leave my girlfriend once and for all.
x: What?
j: I have a son
x: YOU ARE REALLY SICK!
j: Yeah...he calls me daddy too.
And BOOM- like that he is gone and I am left with the satisfaction of having ruined someone's paedophilic masturbatory experience. Such fun! So next time you are "cruisin'" the info-highway maybe we'll run into each-other... heh-heh-heh...
| Tweet |
Comments
9 comments found
| [prev] Would You Date Yourself If You Were Gay? | Sexual Orientations [next] |
I read "AOL" for the first time today. The REV has a great way of showing truth through his experiences. Scenes like this, 38 year olds lusting after 14 year olds, happen too often for me to take it with a grain of salt. Hopefully that one petofile will learn but more need to be taught. I am going to cyber with as many perverts as I can. Thanks Rev. Sean for giving me new idea of education online.
Really, when all is said and done, the only good that has come out of AOL is the chatrooms. It is there that one can get a quick broad taste of humanity.
Yeah... I made that face the first time too...
Once you've managed to rellocate your jaw (as it dropped that far at seeing the endless gibberish streaming through those foul little rooms) and get over the sinking feeling that the species is doomed *FOR THE GREATER GOOD* then you can start to really have fun.
Ever act? Ever want to? Hell, ever envy someone? BE that person. Make up something ridiculous. Once I went into a Moderate-Christian room and began debating points of the bible (the rev thing isnt just for looks)as if I was a raving fundamentalist: in particular the Sin of Onan (the story from which the stance that God hates masturbation comes from).
Most of the folk werent too keen on my constant use of HELL and DAMNATION as a debate tactic, but couldnt really say anything as, well, I was argueing from their churches dogma and quoting their god's "word".
There was a "guy" who quickly became my primary opposing arguer. He'd start into a long set of biblical quotes and I'd send him a "private" message that none of the rest of the group could see alonf the lines of "Im not gay- people think I am gay- Im just sensitive. Are you gay?" Suddenly he would freak out in the public side of the room, reply out of context, or stop for a long time.
Basicly it went a little like this:
REV: "YOU SEE the DEVIL tongue in man cannot wag at the truth OF GOD! For GOD ALLMIGHTY smites with clenched fist, not delights with it! TELL ME ONE PASSAGE WHERE GOD JERKS OFF!! Or have the angels got your-"
x-in: "You are sick man! God hates gays way more than diddlers."
[he really said that]
REV: "Of course. Are you gay?"
x-in: "No!"
REV: "Because there is NO NEED for me to argue with Satans manlovers. I'll preach to the less unclean, thank you very much."
X-in: "No what Im saying is that you got some kind of problem- in the old testiment..." yada yada
REV (private): "Whats it like... being a manlover?"
X-in: "...so when Lot was in Gamorah / WTF is your problem fagget!?!"
REV: "Profanity and Projection of your evil on me will not endear you to these god loving folks."
X-in: cut/pastes a private message "THATS THE STUFF THIS FREAKS BEEN MSGING ME!"
Rev: "Please stop this. Its embarrasing. Your lies are as easily seen through as the short shorts your kind of person is prone to wear."
X-in: "FUCK YOU!"
Rev: "Crass. Crass and a peculiar reaction from a Christian Heterosexual. You see how the Devil fails people?"
Rev (private): "Seriously?"
Now if there were a brass ring to grab, right there I got it. Were there bells they'd be ringing. I got a gay-hating Christian to say "Fuck you" to me in front of a group of like-minded folk who ALSO thought I was "a shepherd of men". The beautiful thing was THEY BOUGHT IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER! Only on AOL do you EVER run into that UTTER lack of net-savy! HELLS BELLES- the only time you really ever come across groups of idiot like that is when the press pool questions the polititions! For that ONE SINGLE TRAIT I have a warmth in for AOL. Sharpen the knives of theatrics, logic twists like a clown's balloon because perspective IS THAT MALEABLE!
Anyway... those were my "meaner" days. Funny how it seems that the same skills that are used to create manipulation, confusion and deception can also put one on the path towards respect, clarity and understanding...
Im sorry what was I saying I completely lost my train of thought?
<3
REVSCRJ
I was very tickled by the conversation you qouted about the christian room. It is nice to read more diversity, in that means. As for my 'pushing online inhumanity' or 'exploiting weakness of fictional names in front of real people' online attitudes are long past for me. Reading your work titled "AOL" brought me back and your reinactment of over worked christians was really a mighty conversation. Scenes like this happen everyday on AOL for people don't keep reality dear in those situations. I have only recently come to terms with computers again and realized there is alot more falseness and ignorance on those plains, meaning AOL. I recently after looking high and low for simulating conversation, with no triumph, found myself in "Gun Talk." I started small talk and in no time found myself in a raging debate with the entire room. I found what I was looking for and towards the end of the 'friendly talk' a man, man is to humanistic I mean screen name, said it was a vegan and only hunted for sport. That topic would have been far to draining to fight. It is nice to observe the few real people that exist online but only more horrific to see the masses that aren't. Keep the brain waves flowing, we all know you have the vision for it.
>It is nice to read more diversity, in that means.
Heh- one of the personally best occasions I can recall is when I was trolling for pedophiles and I came upon someone who was doing similar (that is to say: out to laugh at humans, not sex-type with em).
It was goddamn funny. The guy (all qualitative statements about the person are conjecture) tried to at first take a stock line of scenerio-set-set up, but quickly turned. Im skipping intros and setup.
A la:
Him- "We are driving through the woods in my Ferrari, the top is down and we're going reeeeeallly fast!"
Me- "Ohhh no... I get carsick sooooooo fast. Sux."
H- "What?"
M- "What?"
H- "Sux what?"
M- "Sux2bu cleaning the car if you dont pull over!"
H- " [slams on breaks- squeeling, gets hairy for a second] "
I start to type something in this pause, but he snaps of this GEM before I can get a line off:
H- "YOU WILL NOT PUKE IN MY FUCKING FERRARI! THIS IS CORINTHIAN MUTHER FUCKING SIMULATED NAUGAHIDE LEATHER BITCH!"
I was stunned. Quite literally I believe people a few houses down heard me laughing. The timeing was perfect. The scene went on to major injury as he tried to carry me to a meadow while I was in his arms popping the cork on champaign. The loud noise made him jolt, trip and drop me. I landed on a thistle bush, a rock and the bottle which broke causing me a gushing wound.
We eventually were both dead, upon which we thanked eachother and parted virtual paths. Great improv (no relation) that was!
>As for my 'pushing online inhumanity'
Oh I dont see it as inhumane at all! I am fucking w/ those who fuck w/ the innocent in ways that do not give them healthy knowledge. They do their part to cause sex-obsession to remain a specieal norm, I do my part to make them pay for it. Not "inhumanity" but actually "natural and just like the laugh of a jackal" noble in a way. :)
>'exploiting weakness of fictional names in front of real >people' online attitudes are long past for me.
yeah, ditto, its rare that I do the afforementioned these days no because I dont find it funny or good- coz I do- but that ultimately the endless sea of scum on the surface this pond wide web is eventually like the weight of Atlas. [-thank you, mixed metaphors are a hobby]
>I have only recently come to terms with computers again
Adam? [rolls dice]
>in no time found myself in a raging debate
>with the entire room.
Fun! Growth oriented! Many views against yours! People are vollenteering to beta test your belief structure! How uncharacteristicly good of them!
>It is nice to observe the few real people
> that exist online but only more horrific > to see the masses that aren't.
Bear in mind some of them are one and the same.
>Keep the brain waves flowing,
Right up to the very last!
>we all know you have the vision for it.
A statement like that could make one paranoid if one were prone to paranoia... I will say to the "we all" of yall: just coz youre a secret cabal following and watching me doesnt mean Im not watching yall too for my own purposes.
<3
REVSCRJ
That was funniest conversation of that manner yet. I probably woke other humans just reading the conclusion. As for the mixed metaphores I caught your drift. That was also well put.
>As for my 'pushing online inhumanity'
I should have elaborated more but only stated inhumanity by a way of mentioning all of the sick, twisted and immoral acts I see and hear about far too often.
As for "making them pay for it" I can only agree full heartedly. I only hope adult perversion, on 15 and under year olds, is kept online and not brought to the real world but it is a fact that is. As for you doing your part it is great to hear and hopefully you turned them off enough to reconsider there own wantings. If not, it is atleast fun to imagine the look, on a hairy palmed pervert who lost his petofilic muse, on his or her face. My problem is run on sentancing. sorry about that.
>we all know you have the vision for it
What was meant by that is all persons have the vision for keeping people thinking out of norm into the real truths. Truth is really an opinoin of what that person sees or feels is right. You can't change other people's truths but you can teach them about your's. You, along with many others, have shown mental stimulation to other entities but the world is still how it is and only in time can hope for a better place. What I should have said was, "Keep the brain waves flowing, yours and others around you." That I say with confidence to you. I do not know who or what the origin of your title "rev" came from, but I have faith who ever chose it was thinking very clearly that day. On that note, Keep the brain waves in the right places and sorry if I caused paranoia.
P.S. If this was Las Vegas you would have won at dice
subgenius? Oh, I just bet.
*sigh*
Nice little wor(l)d ya got here. Remind me to sidestep it, as I walk. *Grin*
There'll be no room on the pleasure saucers for you. I'm sorry.
Subgenius? Supposidly.
I fear I am too much a bullet and too little a Bob.
Sidestep? Thats how people find me.
<3 Rev "Waiting for you" SCRJ
Man, I am a pleasure saucer.
<3
REV "one lump or two?" SCRJ