Alphabetical Index: S

Santa's Answering Service

Our Canadian mail system works with a 'postal code', a series of letters and numbers that helps determine one's exact mailing address. To those who are unfamiliar with Santa's postal code at the North pole, it is H0H 0H0. More

Satellite Dementia

There have only been two occasions in my life when I felt like I was on the brink of true insanity. I don't mean manic-depression/co- dependence/neurosis-du-jour but REAL madness- true dementia. Once was when the mother of my son and I split up: I felt the entire universe had become an infinitely thin tunnel of unrelenting anguish. It was no good. The other time was when I worked graveyard shift at a soft rock radio station that played piped-in music from Los Angeles. More

SAVE FRANCES BEAN!

My generation lacks revolutionary squares in which to gather and shout out slogans, showing off indoctrination received by an oppressive regime. We don't participate in rallies with flags and banners because we're being individuals who don't raise their fists in the air in unison. More

School

15 years. Is that really a long time? Why yes I do believe it is. What could you do that would require 15 years to complete? I really couldn't tell you. But "THE MAN" (hehehe) seems to think that 15 years is the minimum you should spend in school, getting your education (This is for Ontario. We've got OAC/Grade 13.).

Scooby Doo Stuff

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Searching For Clues

Last week an investigating psychiatrist asked me how I would describe myself. I seem to be public property now. This is strange for a person who has always been quiet and enjoyed her privacy. Perhaps I could write out an account for you of each hour of that day? More

Searching for Rikki Rockett

Despite the title of this piece and its resemblance to what I hear is an intriguing movie about a child prodigy, this is not about chess. This is about a quest to meet an aging glam rocker.

Searching For Small

Do you think the Airplane (yeah, I am talking about the Airplane -- don't give me that "Starship" hoo-hah) shopped at Sam's Club? By the second aisle I began to have the feeling that something was surrealistically wrong with the picture. Had I taken the "small" pill? More

Sepia photos on Cannery Row

Okay, here's a confession, don't laugh at me because I am really trusting you here: I once was almost a hippie. I had long hair, wore tye-dyes, went to Grateful Dead shows, hiked a lot, smoked copious amounts of dope, and said things like "Dude that's TRIPPY!" More

Sex

I was proceeding from the belief that by sleeping with a representative of every kind of female body, and every category of appearance I would, in effect, come to know all women and that such an accomplishment would be good for my writing. More

Sex and the Condom

I'm having sex as I write this. Despite the fact that the last time I had any was so long ago I had almost forgotten what it all involved, all equipment reported for duty, was accounted for and things are going as expected. More

Sex is not What Everyone Brags About

Before some of you start a lynch mob and come to burn me at the stake, hear me out first. I'm one of those people that can either have sex or don't have sex. I don't care about sex as most people do, and because of this, I get all sort of comments by my friends. And by the way, I lost my virginity when I was 15 years old (I'm 23 at the moment.) More

Sexual Orientations

Being gay is of course, as we all know it (and some pretend to agree with), perfectly normal. I for one live by the motto of "live and let live". If you have no problem with me sharing the same oxygen you are breathing, I have no problem with you. More

Sexually Transmitted Poison Ivy, Uncle Dale's Travelling Outhouse, and Other Stories That Should Be True

If you study literature, painting, music, or any other kind of art, sooner or later you will hear phrases like "Art for Art's sake," and the like. Good art, that is, a fascinating sculpture, a portrait, even a movie or a good TV episode does not necessary have to have anything to do with truth or even meaning. More

Shaft One Bad Mother...(shut your mouth)ing Movie

If you're looking for Eminem's email address, you've come to the wrong place. It's not likely that any of our readers will know his whereabouts. Look for the Real Slim Shady elsewhere.

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