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Never Go On The Make
You know that moment when you meet a woman and you think something like "Damn, I bet she's wild in bed" or something of that nature? In that moment you make a decision: am I going to try and get her inside her OR am I going to try to see who and what she is? More
Never on Video
Perhaps it's because my years studying Radio and Television gave me a healthy contempt for television and video, but I just don't understand the obsession some people have with it. I have no desire to grab a video camera and point it at my friends doing such gripping dramatic things as eating lunch. Hanging out at the mall. Lots of people however, do. More
New Year
Every New Year's Eve I am reminded of musical genius Jim Croce's words--"Yeah I used to be a terror/ but now I am a tired man." The New Year's Eve parties used to be the stuff of legends, but now they are quiet, tame affairs. More
Newbie Evolution
Everyone was, at one time or another, a newbie. Fortunately most newbies outgrow their status and become Regular Joes. Even AOLers. (Really.) It's the ones who never move beyond their newbieness that worry me. You know the types, those who have been online for at least three months but have not yet learned the rules of Netiquette. More
News bites from the Future
In a press conference, the Mayo clinic announced that a team of researchers has successfully thawed a cryogenically frozen human being and brought him back to life. More
News Peak: Toronto cities vote to hold nonbinding referenda
Next stop, Crackville Central
Maybe wanna-be gangsta #4 felt a little left out. Here are three of his brothers, hanging out with three blonde chicks that are smooching all over'em, looking cool, chilling it out after a hard's night work of dealing the crack, and he wants in the game, yo. More
Nice Guys Finish Last
You know the Nice Guy. He’s kind, he’s sensitive, he respects women. He doesn’t think solely with his cock. He’s madly in love with the Nice Girl, and is in state of limbo, waiting for the day when she realizes Nice Guy is the one for her. In the meanwhile, it means being alone on Saturday nights, trying to remember what sex feels like, and wondering why you try so hard to be nice yet never get rewarded for it. Will there come a day when you’re more than just a “good friend?” More
Nights of the Living Bored
As I'm writing this, I am currently on the fifth floor, making sure that nobody is stealing the worn out wallpaper or the I-Can't- Believe-This-Was-Cool-In-The-70s carpeting. Or so my Daily Report states. The Daily Report is this piece of paper where the security guard is expected to write what he's doing. Showing what a dedicated worker I am, mine is a fine example of fiction. More
Nike's Poetry Slam
Nike's advertising agency apparently approached several poets, including Mart¡n Espada (an English professor and member of The Progressive's editorial advisory board), whose work is distinctly political, about participating in an ad campaign for the Olympics.
Moreno frills at the end of the Universe
Those that never worked as a waiter or a clerk haven't lived life yet. These type of jobs allow you to develop a thick defensive layer around you and prepare you for the stupidity of the world that has yet to come. Since hydrogen and stupidity are two common elements in the Universe, and no frills a grocery store with low prices, you can figure out pretty much by yourself the magnetic attraction this place has. For idiots, not much for hydrogen. More
no frills of our lives - 2
When you see a cop, do you ask him what kind of job he does? Of course not. You can tell by the uniform. Same with the fireman, or a doctor, a nurse, or the guy that drives the bus. You know what job he does. You don't ask, for example, the guy sitting behind the wheel of a bus, if he's a bus driver. Chances are he will kill you. More
No Good Deed
If I were ever suddenly In Charge Of Things, there is one immediate change I would make in the existence of the world. I would cancel that unwritten law that demands that no good deed go unpunished. More
Not Just a Client
Sy Sperling, President of the Hair Club for Men first uttered those words as he held a picture of his old noggin. It looked like a cueball wrapped with a raccoon's tail. Now, thanks to his company, he has a full head of nylon--I mean, hair.
MoreNothing says "I love you" like Subway
Valentine's Day is slowly becoming something like Christmas for the perverted and kinky. With things from edible panties to sex swings, the market is flooding with "toys" for adults. People everywhere saying "happy Valentines Day!" with their fucking perky cheery smiles. More
17 records found.
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