News Index

The Enemies of Sex

Sun, March 23rd, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

Meet the sexual crusaders.They know what's right for you.


Natural Beef

Sat, March 22nd, 2003 00:20 by capnasty

"The anti-weasel movement marches on. The famed Tavern on the Green is 'de-Frenchizing' its entire spring menu, and the 'roast prime rib of beef au…


Saddam is everywhere

Sat, March 22nd, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

I'm quite fond of the King.


Russian Binary Roulette

Fri, March 21st, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda…


Vagina Paintings

Thu, March 20th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

I don't think I could explain it better than the way the artist does:Most questions I get have to do specifically with how I make…


kill puppies for satan

Wed, March 19th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

"here's a bit about the game. but first, look, it's called kill puppies for satan, that's pretty much the plot, and it's all swearing all…


Tech support question from hell?

Tue, March 18th, 2003 00:19 by capnasty

Computer Randomly Plays Classical Music


Hello Zoo Keeper

Mon, March 17th, 2003 00:38 by capnasty

Goodbye productivity.


In Cod We Trust

Sun, March 16th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

"An obscure Jewish sect in New York has been gripped in awe by what it believes to be a mystical visitation by a 20lb carp…


Freedom Fries!

Sat, March 15th, 2003 01:33 by capnasty

"Officials at the French Embassy pointed out that french fries actually come from Belgium.'We are at a very serious moment dealing with very serious issues…



Fri, March 14th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

"The Turd Twister is designed to fit comfortably up your butt during your morning constitutional. Insert the Extruder Ring, hold it tenderly between your butt…


How to become an obnoxious Internet cam whore in five easy steps.

Thu, March 13th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

"Ever wanted to become a trashy internet cam whore, but you just don't know how? Tired of earning money for things the honest way? If…


Sack Smash 2001!

Wed, March 12th, 2003 00:06 by capnasty

Use the left and right arrow keys to control your trippin' nadsack and go on a frenzy of gnome killin' frenzy.So help me God.


When you tire of Japanese schoolgirl panties...

Tue, March 11th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

"Please drag a black hand and look for the point to squeeze. (It's easy)And rub it as you like."


Also known as Ebola Café

Mon, March 10th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

"Check out the comments on restaurants our surveyors love to hate. They may be too risky for our books, but we had a blast compiling…


Where the fuck were we?

Sun, March 9th, 2003 03:00 by capnasty

As some of you may have noticed, the site seems to pop up and down faster than a Frenchman behind the Maginot line.We've changed servers…


SpamKu -- Spam Haiku

Fri, March 7th, 2003 01:34 by capnasty

"I was looking at my SPAM mailbox the other day. As I was reading the countless subject lines, I started hearing Haiku in my head…


Owning a Car Ain't What It Used to Be

Mon, March 3rd, 2003 03:00 by Lilith DemHareIs

My brother owns several cars. As expected, he does not currently have a girlfriend. At his age, you can afford either one, or the other,…


As Goth as Fuck

Sun, March 2nd, 2003 10:18 by capnasty

"No, I'm not religious. And no, I'm not even trying to say that you ought to worship anyone, let alone some poor sod who may…


Reducing those tech-support calls from your users

Sat, March 1st, 2003 13:05 by capnasty

"For the network admin/analyst/technician who has all the tools -- well, they probably forgot this one... CAT-5 o' nine tails."