News Index

The Lonely Austronaut

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Fri, August 16th, 2002 00:48 by capnasty

"My typical day on the moon? Oh, it's pretty laid back up here. I usually play a few rounds of golf with the nine iron,…

300

Interplanetary Jack Chick

#Religion
Thu, August 15th, 2002 02:13 by capnasty

"We had just returned from the first moonwalk when I noticed something taped to the back of the Descent Engine Command Override checklist. At first…

343

IRC In a Nutshell

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Wed, August 14th, 2002 03:46 by capnasty

Almost sounds like an O'Reilly book.

298

The Opposite of Sex

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Tue, August 13th, 2002 04:26 by capnasty

Bob the Builder: A Crash Course in Sexual Innuendo

356

Beware of Smartey Linux Man

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Sun, August 11th, 2002 16:36 by capnasty

"This is a short guide to help you spot and stamp out these evil bastards. They are everywhere these days. They could be in your…

282

When Domain-Names Die

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Sat, August 10th, 2002 01:54 by capnasty

"I come to bury IAmCarbonatedMilk.com, not to praise it. From BuyClamsOnline.com to billromanowskisucks.com, a stroll through the graveyard of defunct domain names offers a melancholy…

237

Attack of the G.I.Joe Dolls

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Fri, August 9th, 2002 00:00 by capnasty

Los Angeles airport security are under the order to confiscate anything that looks like a gun, including replicas. They have been taking their orders very,…

354

Anorexic, Unite!

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Thu, August 8th, 2002 12:09 by capnasty

tiny dancer had a doughnout. "What was i thinking?? was i too late? did my body already absorb the calories?" she asks her fellow anorexic…

272

I Suppose She's Gone to Practice Grenade Throwing Again.

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Wed, August 7th, 2002 03:30 by capnasty

"Selected words from a Chinese-English dictionary published in The People's Republic of China and the sentences used to illustrate their meanings."

290

WHAM!

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Wed, August 7th, 2002 03:29 by capnasty

Fear the revolution.Fear the red stapler.

254

Man Hood

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Tue, August 6th, 2002 01:36 by capnasty

Randy Tymkin, president of the Man Hood Company, unveils his special product, designed to protect your circumcised penis from losing its sensitivity.And he's not just…

340

Cool Candy

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Mon, August 5th, 2002 07:17 by capnasty

The journey of a girl and her need to cure her sweet-tooth habit. Or a hands down tutorial on how to practice oral sex.

278

Buy Me a Hooker Dot Com

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Sun, August 4th, 2002 12:58 by capnasty

Brian, a 29 year-old virgin who lives with his sister, plays online adventure games and has never kissed a girl, wants your donation.I think we…

269

Are You a Gullible Fool?

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Fri, August 2nd, 2002 12:17 by capnasty

What do you do when your credit card totals well over twenty-thousand dollars?Why, you ask people on the Internet to pay it off for you.

273

Holy Shit

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Thu, August 1st, 2002 02:07 by capnasty

When it came time to empty the 7,000 portable toilets used by the 800,000 pilgrims who came to Toronto to see the Pope, something went…

270

Advertise on my Noggin!

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Wed, July 31st, 2002 07:28 by capnasty

I guess the kids that shave the Nike logo on their heads should've thought about this.(Watch out for the ALL-CAPS SYNDROME!)

224

At Least the Priest Used a Condom When He Molested Me

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Tue, July 30th, 2002 07:29 by capnasty

During World Youth Day in Toronto, Archbishop George Pell from Sydney told pilgrims that "abortion is a worse moral scandal than priests sexually abusing young…

274

Butt Ice

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Mon, July 29th, 2002 13:54 by capnasty

Sore after a hard night of anal sex? Severe case of anusitis? Hemorrhoids?Fear not, the Butt Ice is here.

276

War of the Colas

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Sun, July 28th, 2002 01:17 by capnasty

"In the Battle of the Clear Beverages during the early 1990s, Pepsi launched the highly forgettable Crystal Pepsi, in regular and diet varieties, with disastrous…

355

More Lego Than You Can Shake a Block At

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Fri, July 26th, 2002 13:47 by capnasty

Lego can be used to create many wonderful things. You can use it to customize your mouse.Or you can make your own working Beretta 9mm…

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