News Index

Death Of A Web Team

Fri, May 30th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

"...or `Fuck The Users.'Now that I have your attention. A small disclaimer.This is a work of fiction based on a few true stories. Nothing ever…


Robot Rights Protest

Thu, May 29th, 2003 00:23 by capnasty

"With slogans like 'Save Our Circuits', robot protesters rallied outside of the 26-100 lecture hall while the annual 6.270 Robot Competition raged on inside. Numerous…


A state-of-the-art service

Wed, May 28th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

"rent-a-negro is a state-of-the-arts service that allows you the chance to promote your connection with a creative, articulate, friendly, attractive, and pleasing African American person.…


Someone you don't know

Tue, May 27th, 2003 17:31 by capnasty

"In my line of business I'm occasionally asked by a weathered customer 'why do I keep getting all this spam?' and I've borrowed a metaphor…


Another Quarter Million Served

Mon, May 26th, 2003 03:07 by capnasty

A few days ago (I'm not even entirely sure as to when) we reached half a million page impressions on the new CoN site.It took…


Beware of the Würstel

Sun, May 25th, 2003 02:18 by capnasty

"A German flasher exposing himself to a woman in a forest was forced to run for cover when she set her three small pug dogs…


Next time someone tells you to go hell..

Sat, May 24th, 2003 19:16 by capnasty

...calculate which level!


Man or Woman?

Fri, May 23rd, 2003 02:09 by capnasty

"Guys and girls are different in ways only we realize. In fact, without asking about your clothes, grooming, or chest, our Gender TEst *will* predict,…


Ah, the things you find on eBay

Thu, May 22nd, 2003 00:24 by capnasty

What to do with a broken Mac, Lego and way more time than you should be allowed to legally have.


Oregon says unlawful labelling of an MP3 is "terrorism"

Wed, May 21st, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

"OREGON'S SENATE Bill 742, section 19, chapter 666 (here) defines the `unlawful labeling of a sound recording` as terrorism and would make it punishable by…


Sometimes you get the bear...

Tue, May 20th, 2003 01:27 by capnasty

...and sometimes the bear gets you.



Mon, May 19th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

Rocketmen versus Robots.


What if Microsoft made cars?

Sun, May 18th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

"Thailand's Finance Minister Suchart Jaovisidha had to be rescued today from inside his expensive BMW limousine after the onboard computer crashed, leaving the vehicle immobilized."The…



Wed, May 14th, 2003 01:44 by capnasty

"Real Americans love our Commander-In-Chief. Real Iraqis do too...According to Fox News, an Iraqi leader named Mubarak Ali az-Zubaidy 'offered to build a golden statue…



Tue, May 13th, 2003 21:52 by capnasty

The stats on Iraq in real time!


The Japanese will surely go for that

Mon, May 12th, 2003 01:09 by capnasty

"LAXVIKEN, Sweden -- This is hard to bear -- a forestry museum employee in a small Swedish village near the arctic circle is making paper…


Hanging out Uranus...

Sun, May 11th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

"PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) - Position Available: Interpreter, must be fluent in Klingon.The language created for the Star Trek TV series and movies is one of…


I will make Harassing phone call to anyone

Sat, May 10th, 2003 09:33 by capnasty

"OK, so once I receive your payment, I will call up the victim and make the phone call for one minute as long as it…


Typing Monkeys Don't Write Shakespeare

Fri, May 9th, 2003 17:21 by capnasty

Give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, the theory goes, and they will eventually produce the works of Shakespeare.Give six monkeys…


Bowel. Action. Figures?!

Thu, May 8th, 2003 00:00 by capnasty

oh. my. god.Only in Japan.